I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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