I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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