He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
