My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
