I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
