meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
