How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
