I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
