Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
