yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
