he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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