He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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