Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
