she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
