We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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