For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
