Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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