I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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