whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
