Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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