found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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