I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why are your pants in the freezer?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
