What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
