3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
