Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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