Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
