I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
