Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
