Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
