It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
