Sponge bath it is.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
