You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
