just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
