I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
