google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
