I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
