Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
