In America we eat man semen.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
