he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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