Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
