well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
