I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
