you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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