Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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