Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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