i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
