I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
