we're blogging at a bar
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
