I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
