You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it glows. i had to have it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
