I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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