you guys were way drunker than both of me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
