Buhtt sex?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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