I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
