CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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