I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
