Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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