If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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